some honest thoughts (that have nothing to do with Valentine's Day)

I recently found a post that I had started many months ago, never finished, and thus never published.

So I was thinking today how I don’t really write much of what’s REALLY going on in my head on my blog…like, when I’m so tired of raising support, or how working AND raising support is driving me crazy, or going to wedding number 68 may put me over the edge, or if one more married friend gives me “advice” on the single life it might send me into frenzy, or how excited I was to turn 28, or how much I love the smell of popcorn, or how much I’m already boring myself as I try to write this entry and sound “spiritual” or “witty”. HA! The very thought of it makes me laugh out loud.

And that's as far as I got. In fact, I think I wrote it in July 2007.

Well, raising support is HARD. In fact, it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. For some people, it wouldn't be quite as difficult, but for me it feels like death. Of course, there's a silver lining in it too. For example I love the fact that I get to meet with so many different people and have the chance to get to know them. That is so worth it, and so much fun. And, after it's all said and done, there will be an army of people praying for me, the people I work with, London, Camden, etc. And there's nothing like an army of people praying! But, in general, it's painful. Talk about sanctification! As a "world class" people pleaser, not-humble woman, this task has driven me to my knees. And well, it's also made me realize how little I really am "on my knees" and relinquishing control to Jesus. I just want Jesus.

posted by Rebecca at 2:11 PM